I have a crush! I have a CRUSH! I HAVE A CRUSH!!!!

First of all, my apologies for not being more faithful to my postiongs; I know it's been a while but school started :( so been very busy.


But anywhoo...here's a new Urkel moment for ya!






There's this really hot guy in my class. I mean he is fa-fine! His face is like built to be stared at and admired. His eyes, so captivating (I mean really, you find yourself just looking into those eyes for no reason). Lips...mmm no words can describe. But anywhoo, this is not about him. It's about the day he noticed me :D

So one of my friends that we'll call Mimi is a friend of my crush, who will call D., and she comes up to me and tells me that D. wants to ask me something. Of course many of you can guess from this that when a guy sends his friend to her friend, it's most likely the guy trying to ask you out ;)




So of course I was all giddy with Excitement!!!

All that was running through my mind was "he's gonna ask me out! he's gonna ask me out! he's gonna ask me out!"






So I waited 1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours....5 hours. You get the idea. It was going to almost the end of the day and I couldn't take it anymore, I told my friend to go tell D. to come ask me what it is he wants to ask already. After all, I must make sure I have enough time to go home to get dolled up and do any necessary shopping if our first date was just going to happen to be today.


My friend got him to come to where I was. And he opened his beautiful mouth and asked me to take a walk with him.


SQUEAL!!! It was time!


It took all my might to keep the excitement off my face. I had to play it cool so I don't look desperate.




We started walking and of course the dude kept going on with topics I could care less about. After we had walked a circle around like 5-6 blocks, I couldn't take it anymore, I popped out and said "So...Mimi said you had something to ask me". I put on a straight face that I hoped says "what is it that you could possibly have to ask me, I could care less but go ahead and ask quickly".




He gave a really sexy smile at my question and my excitement got a 100 times even bigger. He looked at me with those big soulful eyes beneath a curtain of long eyelashes, smiled, and said "well I was hoping that you could tutor me in our classes because I am having such a hard time with them".

HUH????? Weren't you supposed to be asking me out to our first date tonight?!?!?! What da heck just happened here?




I had never heard a louder sound than the sound of my knees dropping to the ground and begging for the ground to open up and swallow me right then.




Signed, OG

Grass Cutting 101

Another Urkel moment:


My mother is an amazing woman but she also can be impatient if she doesn't get what she wants. So she's been asking my brother and my dad to do something about the lawn that was slowly becoming a bush in front of the house. But of course the men of the house are too busy to bother with the lawn so my mother decides the women of the house must take it upon themselves to fix it...and by women of the house, I mean me.


So Mother asked me to help her cut down the grass.

Of course that did not please me one bit...I mean there must be a reason why my brother did not want to do it, and the obvious being IT'S A HUNDRED DEGREES OUTSIDE!

But I got to it anyway. I plugged in the power extension cord and plugged in the hand-held grass cutting machine (not sure about the actual name, but I know it's not a lawn mower). I started the machine and got to cutting. And then I thought, "hey this is not so bad, don't know why bro was complaining".

But then all of a sudden the machine cuts off.

"mmm...is that supposed to happen?"

I looked around trying to find out if the plug was unplugged or something else....and that's when I saw it

HOW IN THE WORLD DID THAT HAPPEN?!

It seemed that while I was cutting the grass with the sharp blade of the machine, I HAD CUT THE POWER EXTENSION CORD WITH THE GRASS!!!

Signed, OG

Some False Nigerian Mom's beliefs/practices:

 

1). Okele (e.g. Iyan, fufu, eba) gives you energy ---ummm Mother, other than the fact that Iyan makes me want to seek out a bed and take a snooze, it gives you that extra abdomen that most Nigerian women sport on their lower abdomen.

2). When you have a burn, put Vaseline ----ok please don't be like that mother who misunderstood the package labeling and put Vaseline on her 3-years-old son's severely scalded back from hot water. The first thing you should do in case of burn is turn on the cold water to get rid of the heat. Vaseline keeps the heat in; it should only be used for minor, and I mean MINOR, burns; if it looks nasty, chances are it's not minor.

3). Tampons can dis-virgin a girl -----ummmm, no comment

4). Birth Control Pills will render a young lady infertile -----I have never heard of ONE study that shows BCP cause fertility problems. It simply pauses your ability to get pregnant; whenever you are ready to get pregnant, all you simply need to do is get off the pills. Granted it could take some women up to a year after discontinuing the Pills before they can conceive, but it does not in any way remove one's ability to conceive. If a woman is experiencing some fertility issues after using the pill, I'd say go make an appointment with your OB/GYN ASAP cuz it probably ain't the darn pills.

5). Using Tampons can cause infertility ----again, same comment on #4 applies here. Only way use of tampons that may cause infertility is "MISuse" of Tampons. Letting it stay inside for 8 hours or more is wrong. Not changing frequently enough could allow the invasion of bacteria into your fertility organs and of course could lead to infertility. But no Mom, a proper use of tampons does not cause infertility. If anything it makes life easy with that big part of our ability to conceive that we are not allowed to mention in mixed company.

6). If you sleep enough, you will not get sick -----okay this one I'll give to you Mother, it's not totally false. It doesn't necessary mean you will not get sick, but it does contribute to good health. I make sure I get my beauty sleep so I can be as strong and healthy as my Mother and 95 year old Grand-mother :)

The Cell Phone Signal Incidence

It was a Saturday night. I was at an event backstage before the show. I was sitting down with a friend and 2 other dudes sitting somewhere in a corner. I needed to send picture to my bf but for some reason my phone wasn't getting any signal where I was. So I got up and headed towards to the door; I told my friend that I'm gonna step outside so I can send my message. But she replied saying "come here, my phone has signal".

I replied "no, what I want to send is on my phone so I need to get signal"

She says "yea come over here my phone has signal"

I replied the same statement "what I want to send is on my phone" thinking maybe I wasn't clear the first time

and she replies again "YEA come over here, I have signal"

the same conversation basically repeats one more time.

Of course I'm very confused as to why this young lady is very much insisting I come use her phone when I clearly need my phone for what I need to send.

She's still staring at me and she repeats herself "COME OVER HERE, MY PHONE HAS SIGNAL"

DING!!!!!

that's when I realized what it had taken this poor chic 5 times to explain to me.

"oooohhhhh you want me to come over THERE because there's signal there and I don't have to go outside for signal"

the boys, who have been casual onlookers up to this point, suddenly bursted out laughing yelling how long it took me to get that!

Signed, OGOCHUKWU

The Locked Bathroom....

Some days ago, I was at Holy Cross Hospital, Silver Spring, MD on one of my rotations. I was having lunch with a colleague at the Cafeteria. I needed to "powder my nose" so I decided to go seek out one of the three bathrooms I know are located on that floor.

I went to the first bathroom and pushed on the door but it refused to budge...I looked down to confirm that it does say vacant, which it did. I was baffled at the locked door but I moved on to the next door anyways.

I got to the second door and pushed this door as well....but again, no budging.

 

Here comes Door #3

I pushed on door #3 and of course....STILL NO BUDGE!!!

So in frustration, I turned around to go seek another bathroom on another floor when I saw a young man head towards the door I had just tried to enter and he turned the knob and entered the bathroom.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!

UMMMM........

I forgot to turn the knob....who forgets to turn the knob?!?!?

apparently, I do

Signed, Ogochukwu

Inhaled Popcorn....huh?

It was a lovely night you know? Just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes with my girlfriends. We were all having a good time talking about how good the movie is and how unbelievably much better we thought it was compared to Captain America.

 

                               

VS.

 

Rise of the Planet of the Apes rocks by the way.

So anywhoo! Here I was laughing along with my friends and munching on my left-over popcorn when all of sudden!...............
               GASP!

Yup!...I INHALED MY POPCORN!!!!

I successfully created my own choking hazard by inhaling my popcorn.

Signed, OGOCHUKWU